FadedTearsRewind

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

1000 Times Good-bye.

^{Faded Tears the Rewind <<<}

C L O S E D ?!

'till futher noticed.

[pain in it is just too much to take]

New blog: Sticthed Soul. �x� Feel free to visit sometime.

http://stitched-soul.blogdrive.com/

- Sue.

Posted at 8/25/2004 7:48:23 pm by faded-tears
Hurt Me...

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

All downhill from here.

All downhill from here. This is what i get for not thinking straight. Hell, this is what i get for not thinking at all. Blah... Yesterday I was talking to Bryan [yeah guy I barely know] I asked him if he had his tounge ring on, and he said Yes. I jokingly asked him if I could bite it. He's like yeah... before I knew it we were in the Audotoriam hallway [where no ones at during break] I pushed him agasint the wall. he asked if I was nervous. Didn't bother to answer. I bit his tounge and stuff. No need for deatils. -sighs- Bell rang. We need to go. We start walking. He says maybe we can go out sometime [typical of a guy] I said Yeah, maybe. He asked what kind of music did I like. I said alternative and crap. Hes like cool. Do you like Incubus? Um yeah they're okay. Good, so would you like to their concert? Um sure. Cool. While we were walking I bumped into Lonny*. Guy I meeton the internet. I'm liek you never went over to meet me. He said You were supposed to come to me. Um, thats not what we agreed on. Hes like So your Sue? mhm, your Lonny.. Yup. I forget what we said fterwards it's sorta liek blur.. Wow he was tall. Not bad looking either lol. Shh.. He's Pinky's + Daisy''s cousic. Who would have guessed? Today Bryan he asked me if I was still up for for seeing Incubus... I said I'll ask... I figured he did want to talk to em since he was walking with me, the complete oposite of his class. During break. There he was. Avoided him with Roni. Roni wont leave us alone now. Thank you Roni! ^_^ After school I gave him my reponce to the letter he gave me. I really hope he says he doesn't like me.Cause the last thing I need is another guy to fall for.
Here They Are: 1.Jake A. Guy I've been with over a year. I really dont want to loose him. I care for him dearly. But he said he'd break up for him if I cheact on him again. I never meant to hurt him. I must come off cruel in his eyes. Today he told me that when we couldn't tlak he called me every sunday for the first month, but it was either A. Busy or B. Unanswered. I never recied his calls though. & i always wondered why he wouldn't call. He left me wondering what the hell , what is wrong with me?

2. Dare: Guy I've grown close to maybe even love with a matter of months. Yes, I know he's way older than me. But if you idiot havent noticed I liek older guys. A lot. They turn me on, and I'm afraid of letting him go.
3. Gilbert H: Guess you could kinda say was my date for graduation night,a nd i was growing a crush on him. He has a gf now, and thank god I didn't fall for him.
4. Robert C.: Okay, my so called "best friend online" Well, that's true. i trust him. But I've had a thing for him ever since I known him. WTF do I do 'bout that? He lives 3 hours away and he promised to meet me someday. Hopefully somewhere in the near future. You know what will happen if that day comes true. All hell will break loose. Hmm.. but I can't get him outa my head. Only reason i'd kick him outa my bed is to fuck him on the floor. He's the sweetest guy. I gave up on him and i guess the "us" he wants me to stay with dare.
5. Bryan: Guy i MIGHT have fun with. nothing more though. & no I don't liek him. .
6.Chris [frozen]: He's coming to see me soon, but I don't know if that would be a good idea. He's my Stranger<3 [insider he knows what it means -.^ ] Other wise yeah just a friend. i want to keep it that way.
7. Caleb B: But hes no more. I made sure of it. Good ridence./ Adam: The flirt.
8. no there is no 8 lol and Caleb's not supposed to be in this list. lol. but oh well. Nor Adam lol. Don't even like them. lol
This is my chance to let my feelings out, only way I can. when I start thinking of how bad I have it it's gets TOO hard to breath. I highly think thats normal. And an endless hole in the back of my troat. [thats contributiong to my not breathin thing though] I did get a new AOL 9.0 Optimized SE version. and A new WinMx version. Guess thats cool. lol Jake or dare. My one hard question. i want to die.

Posted at 7/13/2004 10:19:49 pm by faded-tears
Hurt Me...

Friday, July 09, 2004

Queen Of the Damned.

Queen of the damned, yes sir I am. >.< Yes, once again it's June Friday 09, 2004 it's supposed to be fun! Not full of embarrassment -sighs- I was wearing a long sleeve black shirt that you button on the front, all the way down. Azucena had let me play with her [hot-dog] winnie toy thing... But Adam took it away when she was passing it to me, So Okay, I get up. Stand by his desk, extend my hand ... when he says.� "Your shit's open." [Yes, he said it OUTLOUD, and the whole class turned. Nosey bastards] I thought he was kidding... Until I went to sit down and I think it Was Vanessa, She goes... "your shirt is really open" OMG! I look down and AHHHH, the button that covered my chest was wide undone. How could I have missed that??? Hmm! Omg.� Adams face turned BRIGHT red, and well, enough said 'bout how mine got. I sat in my desk, hugging my backpack close to my chest... Until the bell rang. -Ring- I'm outa there! Roni, Roni, RONI! OMG... Pedro was there. "What happened, Sue?" "Um, my shirt unbutton and the guys got a good view, ew I guess some girls as well..." "It did? Why wasn't I there? Don't talk to me, I'm mad now." Bye Pedro. Eh... Why does it always have to happen to me? Hmm! The high school has doors all around, but their all closed ... except the one by the main entrance. That's where I get out. Armando was waiting for me, guess he wanted to walk me. Pinkie [Iris] Didn't go so I'm like "Sure, sure why not.".� He said he had told Mark that is he got near me or tried to talk to me, I would Stab him. I was like WTF? I never said that. He's like well he seen you the other say and he said that your breasts had gotten firmer and you got hotter. He also said that if you were still mad at him by the end of the year he was going to rape you. THAT just scared me a little BIT.-shrugs-We walked until we caught up to Adam then it was just me & Him.Adam: "sue, I'm sorry didn't mean to say that outloud." Me:"Um, Adam.� Did you see anything?Adam: "No Sue, I didn't" -brief silence- "it was black..." lol So he didn't see anything but he knows what color it was? Sure! lol. I saw Gilbert after school too. He gave me the HUGEST smile ever, it was almost scary. Ha ha.. yeah Gilbert smiled. I couldn't help but do the same. Too bad were not together. Another one returned, that I'll never use. Pity. I made a new friend. Bryan... Not the first time I meet him but we hadn't talked until recently... He's COOL. He has a tongue ring that he took off and showed me.� He's in a band but then again he's not. That's what he says. He's weird. He's.� he's.� Cute. [NOBODY read that] He's 16, but that's okay. I was sitting on the grass and Josh sat on me. RUDE. Bryan laughed hmmm! The grass was wet. lol. Why do they think I'm weird? I'm not. Everybody was standing up in a big circle So I sat down in the middle. and played with the grass... Okay. So I'm a freak SUE ME! Mom and I went to pick up Mary & Roland. I got off before she did and went to buy lemonade from these little kids on the other side of the street. I thought it was SO cute. lol. & one of the kids said "Your very beautiful" That kid musta have been like 5-6 Okay maybe 7 years old.� Aww.. that means WAY more to me than a bunch of guys telling me I'm "hot" I saw Chris too @ Bear Mountain but I said Hi & bye. Last weekend was FUN, I guess. Denise took me to take my grad. pictures. A month later but hey it's all good. Ana did my hair & makeup again. Their friend Grace came with us. The photographer had no patience! [in my eyes] but they came out all right. I guess. & I showed Dare Bryan, Kas, Robert, Derrick... and other people. They all said my dress was pretty before they said me. Rude... We went to the mall and they had to literately drag me into some stores.� TOO many colors hurt my eyes you know ... but It was okay... Then Sunday was July 4th. Lots & lots of family came over! woo I got to lock myself up, until they dragged me outside to watch some fireworks. Man Lindsey keeps coming over without calling first. Its getting annoying. I just want to be left alone. I have one more week of summer school at Arvin High school then I'm off.� Finally.� Until like a week later. Then I have to go to the Summer Academy at Bakersfield college. I'm somewhat exited I get to see my old friends again. Bu they're not going to mix up the grade this time. Im I'm stuck with a lot of people my age who I don't even know. Most likely lil preppy ignorant pervert. Tell me something I don't know. Woah this is a lot. I should update more often, but I wont. I'm too lazy and Sometimes I don't even care to share all my crap with you uncommenting and untagging people. Not like you'll care.� You ... no not you ... but yes you! Don't even bother to comment on anything I write -mumbles- I hate you all.

Posted at 7/9/2004 8:30:00 pm by faded-tears
Hurt Me...

Saturday, June 26, 2004

�Freaky Friday�

�Freaky Friday� Hell yeah! It was. Well, it all started pretty normal yesterday went to summer school 'till 12:05 in the morning [flunked my mid-chapter exam but still managed to get a B, woah] Then picked up my little sister from pre-school, and Roland as well. Got home listend to music for a while and yeahhh... Then Monet calls. Apparently she was having a pool party and she named off a lot of people that where gonna be there. SO I'm like.. uh sure sure why not? I toook like an hour getting ready lol Gosh. But I made it heh. Got there at 3 somehing, I think. Claudia & petie where already there. [this being that it was "supposed" to start at 2:30 ha] Not long after Tyler gets there, Salvador... Alex.. Then Patty.. & Pedro, Bradly, maggie, and yeah people. Man, tyler has a big mouth when he got there he's like, "Sue, you know Gilbert's coming, Right?" & I'm like.. "yeah, so?" he like, Well, i just figured yu'fd want to get in the pool with him and play. We'll leave you guys aone if you want" And Then claudias like, 'yeah!" My face couldn't turn any birghter. He never came anyway. Pity. That's where I meet Rusebell, or howver you spell his name 0.o Omg that guy was hot lol. Shhh...Oh yeah & rollie and those other guys. But not like I care. Rollie was supposed to come over today but mayb he did when i wasn't home, cause i didn't see him today. Oh well.. how he actually was able to tell me where I live is way beyond what I know. Man, Alex got mad at me, I got out of the pool and went to where he was sitting i forgto why, but i did and my short where making me tip over cause they were soaking wet[ didn't wear a swim suit cause when they asked me if i was to swim, the guys wen't "woo hooo Sue! take it off!, so yeah wasn't going to do that] So we were talking ans he was i couldn't keep my balance lol so he asked me if iw anted to sit down with him, and i'm like.. no...... i don't want to get you get you wet. he's like You wont, & I'm like Yeah, i will,.. He's like you don't want to sit with me cause I'm fat? your calling me fat?? lol Stupid! he's skinnier than hell. Claudia bit me tooo hard though. When I got home I still had her teeth marks. I just meet him yesterday lol I got a pic of patty with me, and of one of the guys playing chiken inthe pool. I can't believe how bad of luck me and my friends have with camreras. It was getting darka nd we were still in the pool when i actually remember i wanted to finish my camera. So I got the guys together and asked maggie to take a pic. Um i think it was patty or Monet beside me. & that quiet guy on the other side, Ariel behind me, and Rollie on the floor. Oh and Rusebell sitting i mean laying on top of me lol. I don't think that picture is going to come out though, toooo dark. Damn my luck. Then we went to the light to get at least one good pic. And I was between Russela nd Rollie. I find it funny that both theyre hands were shaking when they had theyre hands 'round me. -sigh- guys... -smiles- heh.
Todays Saturday June 26th, 2004. Bassicaly all I did was take my little sisters and their little friend [gosh shes anoying] to see some snake show. Big wow. Did convince my dad to let me get 4 more piercing's though. yeah, thats if I gain 6 pounds, heh yeah right. Oh yeah, made a date with my cousions to go take pictures on friday at Q-Studio. -sigh- My life is so boring.

Posted at 6/26/2004 7:08:28 pm by faded-tears
Hurt Me...

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance. (C)

Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance.

^{"you are the same decomposing organic matter as everyone else."}

Thinking about suicide but you're not sure if it's the right thing to do? Here are some tips to help you decide whether or not killing yourself is a good choice:

1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it. Just keep in mind, it takes forty two muscles to frown and only four to pull the trigger on most assault rifles.

morons have killed themselves after reading this page.

I expect lots and lots of comments or hate mail, so feel free to point and stare.

Posted at 6/9/2004 6:54:10 pm by faded-tears
(2)Cuts, Will You Hurt MeToo?